Sure, the world around us is slowly crumbling, the American electorate has never been angrier, human interaction has never felt less genuine, no one I’ve talked to in years seems particularly happy and everything feels utterly, inescapably hopeless—but 190 years ago curly fries were considered an “edible garnish.” Are you fucking kidding me? Our malnourished and misguided ancestors couldn’t even order a side order of these delicious grease spirals. Their lives must have been poorer for it.

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Truly there is no better time to live than the present.

I’m writing this on a glowing robot typewriter with instantaneous access to the sum total of human knowledge and have yet to die of gangrene, which I guess is pretty cool too.