Calcium alginate is incredible stuff. It has the ability to surround liquids with a springy membrane so they can hold a shape and be handled like solids. The process is called spherification, and gets a lot of use in upscale, molecular gastronomy-type restaurants. One start-up is even trying replace water bottles using similar methods. But why save the environment with blob technology when you have a deep fryer and no regard for personal safety?

Jonathan Marcus attempted this culinary feat for the Stupid Shit No One Needs and Terrible Ideas “Hackathon” in San Fransisco. Past submissions have included a reverse ad-blocker and a Soylent penis that ejaculates more Soylent, just so you have a sense of where this weird food cyst is coming from. Marcus dipped the spherified water in flour, an egg wash, and then a rather tasteful coating of panko. Once cooked, you can pop it open for a deeply hydrating food experience.

Fun as it might look, Marcus cautions that you should never ever make one of these. When hot oil hits water—for instance, if one of these little water boogers leaked—it has a tendency to violently explode, starting fires and leaving third degree burns in its wake.

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Yes it’s terribly disappointing that making fried water will almost certainly end in horrendous disfigurement. Instead we’d recommend using calcium alginate to make spherified cocktails. Seriously, we’re not responsible if you burn your house down.

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