J. Kenji Lopez-Alt, even within the realm of professional chefs, is an absolute madman. Even his midnight snacks are more involved than most people’s date-night dinners. Behold his latest creation: Ribby McRibface.

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Ribby McRibface, unlike the standard McRib, is technically available any time. Yet a vast gulf lies between “available” and “realistically attainable.” Everything except the damn onion is made from scratch. Everything.

Lopez-Alt’s patty alone—and I’ll remind everyone here that a standard McRib is a measly $3, and is only really exciting because, like pumpkin spice drinks, it’s scarce and hilariously bad—is smoked, glazed, ground, reformed, grilled, and glazed again.

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I love cooking, but there is no universe in which I will ever have the free time to spend all day upscaling a low-rent pulled pork sandwich. Guess I’ll have to wait until Kenji mails one to me *hint hint*.