The velvet ant (a.k.a. cow killer) has one of the most painful stings of any insect. And that’s just one of the ways they’re absolutely horrible little creatures.


Many species of velvet ant start life as parasites attached the eggs of other insects, because if you’re going to be a jerk, 110 percent is the only way. Their bodies are needlessly tough, making them nearly indestructible for the duration of their little jerk lives. Speaking of, their terrifically long (and flexible) stingers are a modified sex organ that’s now capable of delivering a solid half-hour of excruciating pain. At some point down the evolutionary ladder, the velvet ant’s ancestor said “sex is neat, but I’d rather be really good at hurting stuff.”

Great job, dude. You got your wish.