President wannabe Ted Cruz impersonates Darth Vader, talks Green Eggs

Ted Cruz—a rabid anti-Obamacare Republican Senator from Texas and 2016 Presidential candidate wannabe—has been talking non stop for more than 20 hours in the Senate, in a futile try to stop a bill he supports. In the process, the multi-talented Cruz is saying a lot of things, like "my father invented Green Eggs and… » 9/25/13 10:27am 9/25/13 10:27am

This stupid grad student claims "science" proves gay marriage is wrong

Look at this happy imbecile: Chibuihem Amalaha, a Nigerian grad student whose University of Lagos-sanctioned "investigation" says that "physics, chemistry, biology, mathematics and the grace of God" prove that gay marriage is wrong. His paper's laughable/pathetic logic will give you an aneurism. » 9/17/13 9:54am 9/17/13 9:54am

Can soccer players participate in the 2022 World Cup without dying?

Critics say it will be impossible to play the 2022 World Cup in Qatar's scorching summer heat. Sepp Blatter—president of FIFA, the gang of crooks that controls international soccer—now says that it may have been a mistake. However, he's still giving the most idiotic excuses for his ridiculous decision. » 9/09/13 4:41pm 9/09/13 4:41pm

College-educated person spends $236 upgrading a stupid iPhone game

I know Gizmodo editor Ashley Feinberg in person. She's really smart, charming, and funny. One of my favorites. That's why I won't remind her too much about how stupefyingly dumb is to spend $236 on extra lives and moves in Candy Crush. I couldn't believe it until I read her own account of the facts. » 8/07/13 6:01pm 8/07/13 6:01pm

Canadian man causes international incident for a drunken bet

John Morillo mobilized three ships and one helicopter from the U.S. and Canadian coast guards after trying to cross the Detroit River, following a drunken bet. The aftermath: he was jailed and has been fined $5,000 by the city. Worse, he really pissed off his mom: "She just hung up on me. She said 'you’re just so… » 7/24/13 8:53am 7/24/13 8:53am

Investigators Find Really Dumb Cause for Huge Russian Rocket Explosion

Investigators have found the reason for that huge Russian rocket explosion on July 1: someone installed an angular velocity sensor upside down. It's probably the stupidest human error in space exploration since the mismatch of imperial and metric units that caused the $327 million Mars Climate Orbiter to disintegrate. » 7/10/13 1:23pm 7/10/13 1:23pm

Rich Couple Pays $50K for Kids' Finger Painting, Then Sues for $500,000

Investment banker Jon Heinemann and his Betty Draper wife are suing their children's private school for $500,000 in damages. They felt swindled by the school during the auction of a finger painting made by kids, for which they paid $50,000. Their lawsuit claims that a teacher artificially inflated the bidding process. » 6/30/13 10:05pm 6/30/13 10:05pm