Here are some thoughts I had while watching a video of two tortoises banging.

1) Is this actually a video of two tortoises banging? I only see one tortoise.

2) Who is filming this, and how can I meet them?

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3) Wow, it really sounds like he’s saying “wow.”

4) Why does this video not carry a warning in its title? There are children on the internet.

5) Who runs ViralHog, and how can I meet them?

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6) Oh, there’s the other tortoise.

7) The caption says the following: “It lasted a few minutes and eventually the turtle on top had been pushed by a third one and been placed on its back.” Why did the person stop filming before the overeager third tortoise showed up?

8) I wonder what a tortoise would think of human coitus.

Now I am stuck in a strange Youtube hole which I would very much like to escape. Please, someone help me.

(Please.)

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[Youtube]