Image: AP Photo/Nick Ut

Take a good hard look at the weather we’ve been having lately: the Earth doesn’t want us here anymore. It’s been politely hinting we’ve overstayed our welcome for some time, and now it’s resorted to throwing plates. We did this to ourselves. It’s time to bow out gracefully.

This most recent spate of terrifying phenomena arguably began weeks ago in West Virginia, where storm and hail (in the summer...in the South...) left thousands without power.

California’s “sand fire” continues to engulf more than 35,000 acres of the Santa Clarita Valley. Five years of drought and 14 consecutive months of record breaking temperatures combined with a heat dome will do that. Fire crews are struggling to contain it by land and by air. Normally sand + fire = glass, but not in these trying times. We just get more fire.

Meanwhile, tornados have been cropping up with starting regularity throughout the Midwest, with severe storms on the way. It seems Iowans are equally culpable in whatever we did to make our planet so unhappy.

Heavy storms and flooding wrecked havoc on Chicago’s public transit, with one driver capturing dramatic video of a metal canopy collapsing onto the Blue Line tracks in a hail of sparks. Lightning in the area also gave a hearty “fuck you” to one pole in particular. Is it obvious we’re really screwed yet?

And then there was last night in New York, where severe storms turned the subways into waterfalls, the Long Island Rail Road got a much-needed bath, and lightning stuck the Empire State Building. If that’s not a metaphor I don’t know what is.

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And don’t worry, there’s plenty more bullshit on the way.