I love architecture from the future, but this new apartment tower by Porsche Design—equipped with car elevators that allow owners to park their Bentleys and Bugattis right next to their living rooms—doesn't come from the future. It's just a gimmicky cylinder.

Located in the infernal Sunny Isles—ugh—this 132-unit tower now under construction will soon be the epitome of the soulless Miami condo architecture that rises along its beautiful beaches like an ever-expanding herpes infection made of metal and glass turds.

Is there really a need to park your car right next to your living room unless you're bloody Batman? Not even Bruce Wayne (or Tony Stark) would do this. Sure, cars are an integral part of that never-ending ocean of asphalt and bad drivers that is South Florida, but not even the richest of the rich should confuse their need to show off their expensive automobiles with an excuse to turn their dwellings into a car dealership showroom. That, a dealership showroom, is the only personality that these apartments will ever have.

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